Science is Fascinating!

Yesterday was my 6 week postpartum appt, it was pretty much a waste of time in my opinion, or maybe its that my doctor did not have a clue of what was going on. The appt was bad and good all at the same time. The bad part was the doctor…he walks in, shakes my hand and says “I know what happened with your pregnancy” and then he sits down. The tone of his voice when he said this was strange, it was almost as if he was waiting for me to elaborate on the subject. I was so confused at his statement and all I did was nod my head. So then he just stares at me awkwardly…after about 20 seconds he asks me “What can I do for you today” again I am baffled, what in the world is wrong with this doctor?! I wanted to say “Hello! Duh! its my 6 week postpartum appt!!” but being the polite person I am I said “Well its my 6 week appt so Im here” he so he went through the typical questions and then checked me and said everything looked perfect. So I suppose thats a relief. Afterwards he asks me “So I suppose you want to know when you can begin trying for another baby” in which I responded “Uh..yes” he said normally when a woman miscarries he likes to tell them to wait 3 months but when someone has a baby stillborn and as far into the pregnancy as I was he suggests to wait 4-6 months so the women have enough time to heal emotionally. Now that irritated me, because I will NEVER emotionally heal from the loss of my child, I will move forward and continue with life. The hole left behind will never be filled so it wont matter if we start trying now or in 4 months or 6 months or even a year, the pain is still there. I tried to explain to him how strong Ive been and that I have handled everything very well but he still said he would suggest we wait. I am not normally the one to go against doctors orders, but I feel ready. I feel a strong push to start now, I feel like April will be a good month. It took us 4 years to conceive her and naturally a woman is very fertile after having a baby so we want to take advantage of that. I did not lose my pregnancy due to a problem with my uterus or cervix or anything like that, it was due to my daughter having a chromosomal issue, so I know I can bear children, what she had was just random and rare. We so much want to either have her brother or sister in our arms or be having one shortly when her first birthday comes around. Now for the good news, they gave us a copy of her Chromosome mapping, it is so interesting to see her chromosomes on paper, down at the bottom where the ‘X’ is there should be 2 strands but there is only 1 and that is what causes Turners Syndrome. They said that 99% of babies with this abnormality do not make it to term and 95% die in utero before the 1st trimester ends, our daughter almost made it to the 3rd trimester so she was a strong fighter! Here is a picture of her beautiful chromosomes!

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4 thoughts on “Science is Fascinating!

  1. I am so sorry for your loss and the negative 6 week appointment. My son was born an angel at 37 1/2 weeks. I experienced many people who said the dumbest things to me…. I truly believe that people just don’t know what to say.

    When you are ready, I hope you have a smooth pregnancy…. thanks for sharing your story.

    Forever Conner’s Mom too,
    Shannon

    • Thank you for the kind words and I am also so very sorry for the loss of your son. I have also sadly come to realize I dont have the supportive family I thought I did. Same goes for most of my friends. I know most dont know what to say but not saying anything at all os the worst. I hope I will have a smooth sailing pregnancy again soon.

  2. I lost my son when he was 11w 3d old to RSV and pneumonia. He was born 11-29-05 and passed 2-17-06. My doctor upon hearing the news when I made an appointment gave me the same advise… To wait. I had already had three miscarriages in the two years prior to this tragedy. I like you felt I was ready. I remember telling my husband as we left the hospital the night he passed “we have to try again.” Somehow I knew I needed to have another baby so I had a welcome distraction to the pain i was feeling. Plus we had wanted a baby for so long. Within a month I found out I was pregnant. Our second full term pregnancy resulted in our daughter Mikala, born 11-4-06 just a few weeks shy of what would have been her big brother malaki’s first birthday. We have since had three more children for a total of three sisters and one brother for my angel. All healthy. But like you said we still mourn our first son, and some days it feels like yesterday. So if you wait until your done grieving you will never have the family you truly deserve! I know everyone is different, but I know I took the right route for me. My daughter saved me… I really feel I would have fallen to a dark place… She forced me to see the light… Through her and my other children I have leaned to live and to mourn… I wish you luck and will pray for you. She was your first born and will always be your daughter… Nothing can take that away… She lives on in your heart. ❤

  3. So sorry for your loss hun, I could not imagine holding my baby alive and then to lose her 😦 your story gives me hope, I am so hopeful that we can conceive soon. I just keep putting one foot in front of another and pray that we will have another baby very soon ❤ xox

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