I am resilient…

These past few months have been a blur. I never in my life thought I would be faced with such sadness and a broken heart. I’ve gone through things in my life in the past that I thought were so horrible and didnt know how I would get through it but then this all happened and its honestly the worst thing that has happened to me in my entire lifetime. My heart has never broke like this before. Its still broken, but I also learned just how strong I am. I am resilient. I made it through the worst time in my life and I can still smile afterwards. I know many may wonder how I go on day to day and I can answer that in just 1 word. Faith. Whether you are religious or not there is no denying that my faith got me through this storm and I praise God for that. I’ve learned who my real friends are and who they are not. I miss my daughter everyday and often wonder who she would have become. As her due date nears I wonder how I will get through that day knowing she could have been in our arms healthy and alive. Instead she is flying with the angels in heaven. I have such peace in my heart and know that we will be blessed with another baby that we can bring home with us alive. I am grateful for that because I know God knows my heart. I was blessed with a little girl 9 years ago and another 7 weeks ago and my heart holds nothing but love for them both. I love my daughters so very much. My husband has been my rock and with him I can get through anything. Thank you to everyone who has been by my side to wipe away tears, hug me or even just talk to me because it meant the world to me. Xoxo



4 thoughts on “I am resilient…

  1. I am so moved by what you have written, it is both moving and the most amazing witness and testimony to your faith. I know how hard it is some days to hold on to faith when you are faced with such sorrow. I know that 8years on I have such comfort from knowing my baby boy is in heaven, free from any suffering, and believing one day I will hold him again. Thank you so much for the encouragement and message that has sent to me tonight. x

  2. I agree completely. I talked to God so much during the first few weeks after Caleb died, but it wasn’t until I completely gave myself over to the idea that Jesus died for our sins and that I WILL without a doubt be with my son one day that I felt a sense of peace. I realized that you can believe in God without really accepting these truths. Maybe that is one of the great gifts Caleb has given me. I know that his life was not without purpose and I am only beginning to see all the things he has brought into my life. Stay strong! “We were given this life because we are strong enough to live it.”

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