Does a broken heart ever really mend?

I asked myself this question today and awaited a response from within but there was nothing. No answer. So does this mean there is really no answer to this question?

I tell myself everyday that I must trudge on and keep moving forward because anything else is moving backwards. This task is very hard, its like walking a path with lots of patches of burning coals. I keep walking forward knowing there will be pain but I cant turn back because there is pain that way too. So you see no matter what I do there will be pain and heartache.

This walk of grief has been hard on my soul. There have been moments of joy and thoughts of making it through and then there have been moments of deep sadness and despair. Sometimes I feel like I cannot win. I feel like I am under a black cloud and nothing good will come. 2013 has turned out to be the worst year in my entire life and I do not see anything good happening in the future. I know you may be wondering why I am being so negative and its simple, because there has been nothing positive to write about today. Yes, I am at a low point right now and I will get above water eventually but for now I need to feel what I feel when I feel it. That is part of the grieving process. I can be mad, sad, angry and happy. I am entitled to.

So what do I have to do to mend my broken heart? will I find pieces along the way? or will it just never be the same?



10 thoughts on “Does a broken heart ever really mend?

  1. I think like any other serious wound, grief never quite heals, there is always serious scarring. But, you don’t stop riding your bike because you have a scar on your knee – and you don’t stop living because you have a scar on your heart. It becomes something that defines you and you carry with you forever.

  2. The fact that you’re still moving forward, despite the pain, shows you are on the path to healing. There will always be bad days, but I do believe you’ll feel happiness more days than not– eventually. When I was a teenager, a friend of mine died. It was the first person really close to me that I had lost. My mom told me that when someone you love that much dies, a part of your heart goes with them. I always liked thinking that. The baby you lost will always have a part of you with her. Scars from this kind of heartbreak never go away, but there will be a day when the pain isn’t so raw. I have to believe that!

  3. After our 16 hour labor I could have screamed when people compared my loss to any other couple who had had an early miscarriage.. Not that all loss isn’t painful.. I’ve had one of those two now.. you know what I mean I am not trying to insult anyone. I found myself wringing my hands wanting to fill them.. my husband bought me embroidery which really helped; a mundane task that kept fingers concentrating. It was for my son, but even still now it lays unfinished because 2 years on I am still not ready to finally say goodbye to it. However, I am rested now in the knowledge that he was not meant for this world and it is sad but I know that a son is not in my destiny and years have slipped passed and I will be too old. However, I can also see what losing him has brought to my life.. a closer relationship with my partner and family.. a pet dog to care for.. an endometriosis diagnosis after being told for 16 years that I was a hypochondriac. It is impossible and you have every right to feel crap. One day you will see the gifts your baby brought you and they may be completely different to mine. Most of my friendships have changed irreconcilably due to my feeling different and people not understanding as much as they try. I have found a new friend through SANDS though and now we are both pregnant together. Even that… a new pregnancy is an experience that no ‘normal’ pregnant person will ever understand. You are changed forever, i am, but one day you like I will look at the framed picture of your babies feet and hands on the bureau and smile like I do, every time I see it. Big love and hugs.. keep reaching out for support and never apologize for the way you feel xxxx It the worst thing to hear.. but it is early days.. it does get better i promise xx

  4. I don’t think so… I think time lessens the pain and the sting, but I don’t think a broken heart ever mends. I wish it would. Even if the wounds begin to heal the scars remain. Thinking of you often. XOXO

  5. It changes. Your life changes. You figure out how to live with your loss. Or you don’t. Or sometimes you do, and then that changes. You realize just how many people suffer just how many things and how do we all keep going? And you don’t ask “why” because you’ll go nuts. When I was in labor with my son, I thought, “My god; there’s no way out of this pain but through.” Now that he’s died, he’s brought me full circle.

    We are the ones who have to bring meaning to our loss; and if it helps at all, we’re not alone in our sorrow.

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